Preparing your First Child for a Sibling

Reference:

1. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/family-life/new-baby-in-the-family/new-baby-preparing-children
   1. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/family-life/new-baby-in-the-family/new-baby-toddlers-preschoolers
   2. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/encouraging-good-behaviour/good-behaviour-tips
2. https://childmind.org/article/preparing-child-new-sibling/

Notes

1. When & how to tell your child
   1. at least 3-4 months before the baby is born
      1. Talk about babies in general, then talk about your new baby
2. Preparing the children for a new baby
   1. Read stories about babies
      Look at pictures, talk with your child about how your family is growing
      Idea: family tree
   2. Show your child pictures of themselves when they were very you
   3. Let your child touch the baby bump to feel the new baby moving & kicking inside
3. Don’t oversell the new baby
   1. Babies are a lot of work
      1. Can’t do things on their own
      2. Can’t feed themselves
      3. Need somebody to change their diapers
      4. May be up at night
      5. Cry and can be loud, can be annoying
4. Set aside special time to spend together
   to help them feel reassured & secure
   1. Establish a ritual that continues after the new sibling comes
      even just a few minutes of playtime or reading
5. Involve older children in the process
   e.g., the preparation for the new baby
   1. choosing toys for their new sibling
6. Regression & other common behaviors (seeking attention)
   1. Praise the positive mature behaviors
7. Prepare for your hospital stay
   1. Explain you will be back with the new baby in a few days
   2. Let your child know who’ll be looking after them during the hospital stay
   3. Make your child feel special and loved. Tell your child how happy your are to see them
8. When the new baby comes home
   1. Reassure your child with a big loving hug before introducing the new baby for the first time
   2. Organize a small gift from the baby to your child. Young children might like a small doll so they have a ‘baby’ of their own
   3. Self idea: bough multiple small gifts
   4. Plan some quality time with your child
      1. a short outside game
      2. drawing or craft
      3. book at bedtime
9. After the baby arrives
   1. Involve your child in the daily routines involving the new baby
      1. clean up, cuddle, snuggling
         bring the burp cloth
         hold the towel at bath time
   2. Show your preschooler warmth, praise, and attention
      “____ is very lucky to have you as a big brother. You’re so helpful”
   3. Keep things fun & positive
10. Breastfeeding
    1. Breastmilk is made especially for babies
    2. Milk helps the baby grow strong and healthy
    3. Offer a special drink or snack babies can’t have
    4. Make a breastfeeding a special time
       1. Keep a special box of toys aside for them to enjoy during breastfeeding
       2. Play your child’s favorite music/recorded children’s stories and listen together
       3. Cuddle up, listen to a story, read a book or sing a song with you
11. Preparing kids of different ages: 4-6 years
    1. There are fun things about babies
       1. You get to play with them
    2. But the baby also needs mom’s or dad’s help
12. Tips for handling challenging behavior
    1. Spending quality one-on-one time with them
    2. Keeping their routines as consistent as possible
    3. Give them plenty of praise for positive behavior
    4. Tell your children how much they’ve learned and grown since they were babies
    5. Help children express emotions through puppet play, drawing, music, etc
    6. Staying calm
13. Tips to encourage good behavior
    1. Tell your child how you feel
    2. Help your child understand their own and other people’s emotions
       – to help them cope with strong emotions
    3. Notice your child being ‘good’
       1. Try focus more on positive behavior than challenging behavor
       2. It’s always better to give many more positive comments than corrections
       3. “Wow, you’re playing so nicely”
       4. “I really like the way you’re keeping all the blocks on the table”
    4. Get down to your child’s level
       1. Get close to your child
          Tune in to what they’re feeling or thinking
    5. Listen actively
       1. Nod as your child talks
       2. Repeat back what you think your child is feeling
          “It sounds like you felt really sad when Amit wouldn’t let you join his game”
    6. Keep promises
       1. Follow through your promises
       2. Your child learns
          1. To trust and respect you
          2. That you won’t let them down when you’ve promised something nice
          3. Not to try change your mind when you’ve explained a consequence
    7. Create an environment for positive behavior
    8. Decide what’s important
       1. Ask yourself it it really matters
       2. Not giving attention to behavior that isn’t important (fewer opportunities for conflict and bad feelings)
       3. Use family rules to let everyone knows what’s important in your family
    9. Keep instructions simple & positive
       1. Clear, short, appropriate for your child’s age
       2. Positive instructions are usually  better than negative ones
          “Please shut the gate”
          not: “Don’t leave the gate open”
          not: “Stop doing something”, “Stop jumping on the bed”
          but: “Do ___ (instead)”, “Please sit on the bed”
    10. Give children responsibility and consequences
    11. Give your child the chance to succeed
        1. Give some simple chores.
           Praise the behavior and effort.
           Give your child a lot of practice doing a chore – helps them get better at it
    12. Prepare for challenging situations
        1. Plan around your child’s needs
        2. Give your child a 5-minute warning before you need them to change activities
        3. Talk to your child about why you need their cooperation
        4. (Let your child know what you expect)
    13. Keep your sense of humour

Unexplored articles

1. Understanding and managing emotions: children and teenagers
   Suitable for 1-18 years
2. Changing the environment: positive behaviour strategy
   Suitable for 18 months-8 years
3. Positive relationships for parents and children: how to build them
   Suitable for 0-18 years
4. Keyword: how to prepare your first born for a sibling
   1. Preparing Your Child for a New Baby Sibling
      https://www.portlandpediatric.com/preparing-your-child-for-a-new-baby-sibling/
   2. Expecting again? Tips for helping your first-born child thrive with a new sibling
      https://theconversation.com/expecting-again-tips-for-helping-your-first-born-child-thrive-with-a-new-sibling-241081
   3. How to Prepare Your Toddler for a New Sibling
      https://takingcarababies.com/how-to-prepare-your-toddler-for-a-new-sibling?srsltid=AfmBOopWHQhQbMYJbTdC_DYGfdR0pM3fHyuoe4WZAHjiPfCJboYg_w-_
   4. How to prepare older siblings for the arrival of a new baby
      https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/how-to-prepare-older-siblings-for-the-arrival-of-a-new-baby
   5. Baby on the Way? Here’s How To Prepare Siblings for Their Arrival
      https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-prepare-toddler-for-new-baby
   6. Preparing your First Child for a Sibling
      https://www.pampers.co.uk/toddler/new-addition-to-the-family/article/preparing-your-first-child-for-a-sibling
5. Keyword: avoid sibling rivalry